By Mr. Kolchak
Somebody wanted to know how I’d write a dating site personals ad.
WANTED: Girl Fridays
Retired military man looking for sane feminine company (No Trans LARPers) 45+ with some pep left in her step. Like hiking up mountains and stuff. Physically fit is what I am so I expect a woman to keep up with me. Positively No body positivity. Nothing positive about being too big for the Uber.
The current situation between men and women is the fault of the FemiNazi Movement. Men are done with the delusional Modern Woman. I’m one of those men. I don’t SIMP. Princess Energy will be short-circuited and de-energized with cold efficiency.
Apparently, current RUMINT indicates there is a loneliness epidemic going around the ranks of Womanhood these days. Men are boycotting marriage and dating until the Women exorcise out the Feminist Democrat Party Woke insanity like a demon. My concern is that the human race will die off if this stupidity doesn’t get crushed to death right now. Men and women have to start chasing each other around the parking lot again. Kiddies have to be born.
But baby steps first. First, any woman being considered here must have no problem being in a “share the ride” arrangement. That means, you pull your damn weight. Half of everything. You’re bills are not my bills. All my resources are not going to be rerouted to your upkeep. This will be like college roomies first. Just understand, anything of value I have is in a Trust so you’ll never get it in any kind of legal maneuvering.
You will, of course, have to submit to a sniff check. My dog, Mr. Kolchak, is a fantastic judge of character and integrity. If you don’t pass his sniff test, you’re not going to go forward in the evaluation. Period. Be offended. I don’t care. My dog has more genuine love and loyalty than any woman alive. I have no illusions about women’s loyalties and loves. It’s on display on TikTok every day.
Just looking for the kind of women that used to exist in the Golden Age: the 70s and 80s. Oh, and any RAP or HIP HOP is grounds for instant ejection from the Program. Rap isn’t music; it is satanic hypnotic noise.
This checklist is minimalist compared to the narcissistic unrealistic delusional insanity demanded by the Modern Woman. You’re stupid pie-in-the-sky conditions won’t be met here. Yes, I am really trying to make it clear that Modern Women are despised here and will not be tolerated. So that will leave only the Girls Friday.
This is the Path Seldom Followed. Most women laugh at the idea of this. It isn’t Kim Kardashian enough. But if you’re the kind of shallow woman that pays attention to Kim Kardashian, then you are a woman I want to avoid.
I can’t make this message Modern Woman Offensive enough. In fact, I want the majority of responses to this shot across the bow to be absolute HATE mail from entitled bimbos whose minds have been popped like a soap bubble. It’s the few that won’t come with the cancel mob in tow that will be of great interest. See, you’ve got to break a few thots to make a good woman omellete.
One last point: no buttoned-up, sex negative religious nuts. Christian Zionists who attend the local glitterbug Prosperity Gospel Swingers Club known as a Modern Church are frowned upon. With extreme prejudice.
Final test will be making you watch Leonarda Jonie comedy videos. If anything she says offends you, bing. Next contestant please! See, Leonarda Jonie is the example you will be measured by. That’s a lot of measuring up to do, ladies. Leonarda Jonie is the kind of minimum standard woman I’m looking for. That standard is WAY TOO HIGH for 95% of women today.
Yep. I’ve got a line in the sand and I dare you to measure up enough to cross it. Game on.
Once the Real Deal is found, then off to the Sunset in Margaritaville we will go. That place where it is 80s Night every night. Kind of sounds like paradise.
And the wokies at the dating site cancel the profile 10 seconds later.
Hate Mail can be sent to: [email protected]
PSA: The Occult Nature of WOMAN in picture hints:
